Thinking of you

I think about you,
I think about you so much that I can't think anymore,
The mind stops thinking, but your wonders keep going,
How my mind is so limited and yet you are so ever more,
Maybe one day (with your grace) your secrets will be revealed to me and then I will cease thinking.

Brahmgiani, Mahapurush, Puran

Inspired by a book I read on Sant Bhai Naranjan Singh ji.

I went to the gurudwara with folded arms,
and I asked for 1 thing and that was naam.

Was my heart pure when I asked,
or did my mind fail the task?
Do I really want it, or was I just saying it for show?

You hear everything and by your will we meet your servants.

Please unite me with such a soul,
someone who can make me whole.

When its 3 am, my alarm goes, but because of my sins,
I dont want to change my clothes. My eyes are tired,
the evil in my mind says go to sleep, you dont need to speak.

Send me that puran who will awaken me and get me out of that snake pit.

If I ever did make it out, the mind didnt like the cold water.
How can I make it understand that this will help me become pure.

And when I start to meditate on that beautiful naam, bliss bliss is the feeling.
Yet the mind is trying to be controlling and wanting me to get off the floor and back in bed
where I can think evil again.

I fight as hard as I can and I start my jap ji sahib.
I get through and even though my mind has not been tottally there I feel you, tuhi tuhi
But why doesnt this feeling stay, I know I am not worthy.
I then start the other prayers and by this time my mind says my legs are feeling numb,
O stupid mind it is you that is dumb, when will you change?

Waheguru bless me and grace me with such a soul, who can show me your naam.

From a sinner of sinners.....